Why I’m Pissed My Mommy’s Not Chinese

12 Comments

The closest I'm going to get to Chinese values is Mulan.

Unless you’re living under a parenting rock you’ve probably heard about Amy Chua, and her new book Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior. Chua, it seems, believes the only way to raise a child is through military-like discipline including forced piano practice and pop calculus quizzes before dinner.  The mommy blogosphere of course is in an uproar. Moms like nothing more than to freak out about the latest parenting style de jour. Hell, I’d be surprised to hear my mom even had a parenting style. From what I can tell she’s making this shit up as she goes along.

I’ve got to side with Chua on this one. I’d be WAY better off with a Chinese mother than the one I got. My mom’s feeble attempt at instilling me with ‘discipline” is creating a flimsy chore chart. For the first couple weeks it was great.  I got stickers for everything I did. Now she barely remembers it’s there.  I’m quite sure her diligence in teaching me a solid work ethic will pay off one day when I land a job as head cashier at Target. If I’m lucky. Also, thanks to her, the chance I’m going to get a gig at in the Philharmonic is pretty much nil. Nobody’s forcing me to play the violin four hours a day. Au contraire. Mom’s  idea of introducing me to classical music is showing me Bugs Bunny in the Rabbit of Seville. Pathetic.

So, does my mom have the eye of the Tiger Mom?  Not bloody likely. Not only that, she makes a mediocre stir-fry. I am doomed.

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Author: Lily

4 year old blogger

12 thoughts on “Why I’m Pissed My Mommy’s Not Chinese

  1. Lily, Lily, you never fail to crack me up. Such a way with words for a preschooler! Although my 6 year old sassy mouthed girl would give you a run for your money! I am with you on the criteria for good “zen” parenting skills though. What good is succeeding in life if you don’t have good Chinese food to eat while you are living it? I just hope you have some good take out! Screw that MSG restriction craze. Its all those additives that make us stay young. I just love this blog, and read it to my husband and daughter every time I get it! You have a way with words, and its nice to see that I’m not the only one not subscribing to the new age parenting hoopla. Well done! Keep them coming.

  2. Your mom & I are a lot alike, kiddo. Someday you’ll thank her for not being up in yo business all the time! Besides, at the rate you are going, blogging at the tender age of four and all, you’ll earn a Pulitzer by the time you’re 30.

  3. Too funny. I only wish, I didn’t relate so well. LOL

    Love this blog, and I don’t like to waste my time with many. : )

  4. Girl, the Rabbit of Seville ROCKS! It’s the prime example of how classical music can be fun. Oh, and I make my daughter practice piano. Not religiously like 4 hours a day or anything – we tend to slack a little bit. She also has to get straight A’s. But I do let her choose her other activities – they have ranged from gymnastics to competitive cheer to dance to guitar. And I’m not even Chinese!

  5. Oh, the sticker chart. Yes, we tried that for the potty. Sometimes we remembered….but that was only because we were on our 6th chart (potty training took a long time).

    My son took Suzuki guitar lessons at 4. I think Suzuki translates to “death by Twinkle Twinkle little star”….the 15-minute daily “parent-led” practices translates to 45 minutes of pleading for one more repetition of whatever Twinkle version he was learning. He’d storm off at the end of the 45 minutes and I’d slam a vodka tonic.

    Really.

    The closest my daughter will get to Chinese anything is her (adopted) cousin Julia. Feel no shame.

  6. Hmmm…you’re always amusing me…

  7. Yeah, kid. Most of us moms are making this shit up as we go along! Don’t worry. We’ll pay for your therapy later.

  8. I’m mostly impressed your mom got the chore chart done!

  9. What is happening to this generation when they don’t understand the importance of Rabbit of Seville?? 😦

  10. Pingback: Why I’m Pissed My Mommy’s Not Chinese « WordPress Chums

  11. Love it

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