Ignorant Mom Destroys Priceless Painting!

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I can remember it all like it was yesterday, because that’s when it happened.

My mom had asked me to throw away my empty Yoplait GoGurt wrapper instead of chucking it on the floor. And by “asking” I mean she launched into that grating dictatorial tone that the CIA should use for audio torture.

Any who, I lift the lid of the trashcan and what do I see? One of my paintings that I had painstakingly created at preschool after naptime and before outside play!! I called it, simply, “Rainbow.”

One day, this painting coulda bought me a house.

There it was, crushed, broken and inert. Five minutes of my life down the potty. Seeing it shoved into that cavernous reeking void made me lose it like only a true tortured artist can.

That woman is lucky I’m only allowed near the butter knives or I would’ve lobbed off my own ear, Van Gogh-style, in protest.

Here’s the thing: My mom knows absolutely NOTHING about art. Yes, to be fair, she has supported some of my major exhibits. My “Giant Girls with Sun In Upper Left Hand Corner” retrospective that’s currently on display in the hallway and my controversial “Traced Hands” series that’s still on exhibition on the refrigerator.

When I confronted my philistine mom on how she could trash my cherished artwork at first all she could muster was, ‘I’m sorry.’ Yeah. Sorry you got caught.

Her excuse for destroying a priceless canvas? Apparently there just isn’t enough room in our house to display or even store all the art I produce. It’s true I am quite prolific. Everyday, in fact, I create between 6 and 15,000 pieces of inspired art. You know what I say? House isn’t big enough to display my genius? BUY A BIGGER GODDAMN HOUSE. Problem solved.

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Author: Lily

4 year old blogger

10 thoughts on “Ignorant Mom Destroys Priceless Painting!

  1. Yeah baby! We cant let these mommies think they know it all! They need to start thinking outside the sandbox.
    If our fridge isnt completely covered in artwork I’ll know something’s wrong. Thanks for the heads up!
    from, Ruby
    (4 y.o. daughter of this blogging mama: http://jennbenn18.wordpress.com )

  2. Amen sister. Amen.

  3. from one tortured artist to another, it’s an important skill to learn to trash thy art. it actually feels good. pick a few every few days, crush them into tiny balls, mash them into the trash can along with your left over spagetti dinner and feel the exhilaration of beating the man. you can not give access to all your work. remember lily. it’s about the process. oh and another alternative, mail your art work to random friends and relatives to exhibit and store for you.

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  5. Been there, guilty of that–though I do a better job of hiding the evidence!

  6. Especially now that she painted your current home THE COLOR OF POO!!

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  8. I don’t know how you are going to live with yourself…

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