Here’s the deal. I’ve just started to wrap my head around this whole idea that there’s this guy who lives in the North Pole and one night a year he flies through the air, shimmies down chimneys and delivers presents to every kid in the entire world. That I get it. What I don’t get, is how many guys I see stealing this dude’s identity.

Lately I’ve spotted at least 200 of these rip-off artists dressed up like Old Saint Nick. I’ve seen them everywhere. One was loitering in front of a gas station twirling a giant arrow. It certainly raises some questions:

Me: Mom what does that Santa’s sign say?
Mom: It says “Condo price reduction — in-house financing available.”
Me: What’s a financing?

And so it goes.

Last year I caught my own dad dressed up in a dime-store Santa suit and breaking into our house. (Isn’t that a felony?!) Seriously, the madness has to stop. We don’t need a bunch of frauds wandering the streets impersonating a man who makes it his mission to get me a new Princess Glamour Dress Up Trunk Play Set. I believe tougher legislation should be put in place so all of these impostors will get off the streets, the shopping malls and the one I saw drinking out of paper bag at a bus stop.

Anyone want to sign my petition?