Is Santa a Victim of Identity Theft?


I met this Santa at a party. He had a beard UNDER his fake beard. WTF?!

Here’s the deal. I’ve just started to wrap my head around this whole idea that there’s this guy who lives in the North Pole and one night a year he flies through the air, shimmies down chimneys and delivers presents to every kid in the entire world. That I get it. What I don’t get, is how many guys I see stealing this dude’s identity.

Lately I’ve spotted at least 200 of these rip-off artists dressed up like Old Saint Nick. I’ve seen them everywhere. One was loitering in front of a gas station twirling a giant arrow. It certainly raises some questions:

Me: Mom what does that Santa’s sign say?
Mom: It says “Condo price reduction — in-house financing available.”
Me: What’s a financing?

And so it goes.

Last year I caught my own dad dressed up in a dime-store Santa suit and breaking into our house. (Isn’t that a felony?!) Seriously, the madness has to stop. We don’t need a bunch of frauds wandering the streets impersonating a man who makes it his mission to get me a new Princess Glamour Dress Up Trunk Play Set. I believe tougher legislation should be put in place so all of these impostors will get off the streets, the shopping malls and the one I saw drinking out of paper bag at a bus stop.

Anyone want to sign my petition?

Author: Lily

4 year old blogger

43 thoughts on “Is Santa a Victim of Identity Theft?

  1. I have totally hijacked my mother’s computer in order to sign your petition. While, I haven’t yet mastered the art of talking, even I understand the basic concept that Santa should only be in the North Pole, creating toys for me. I mean us!

    Our judicial system needs to crack down with tougher sentences on these identity thieves and clear out the fake Santas. Why there was one in my local mall that wasn’t the least bit jolly and smelled of sweat and sauerkraut.

    Perhaps we should notify the real Santa? Do you think he is aware of the atrocities being carried out in his name?

  2. Identity theft has become a major, major problem! And living without protection is like living in a crime infested neighborhood and not having protection on your home. You would probably at least have a really good guard dog and a fence right? Well, not protecting your identity today is the equivalent of living in that neighborhood and refusing to even lock your door. It’s so sad that it’s come to this, but there are always tradeoffs in life. Because we want better medical coverage and a nicer car we pay more to protect and insure them.
    Likewise, with something as amazing as the World Wide Web there come tradeoffs also. One tradeoff for us having access to almost everything is that others have access to almost everything about us, our information. And that includes our personal information like social security numbers, banking information and even your medical and criminal history.
    Luckily there is a lot of information out to help us understand and protect ourselves from these heartless criminals. Here is an informational website put together to help you and your family. We hope you find it helpful. ID theft insurance

  3. I would be happy to sign your petition. It’s more a case of mistaken identity for Santa.

  4. I would be happy to sign your petition…however…I am still in my mother’s womb. It is getting kind of cramped in here seeing as I am getting bigger with every single day. It’s also kind of dark, but I am not afraid anymore. When I am born I will definitely sign your petition. 🙂

  5. Let’s hope Santa can get this mess cleaned up soon. 🙂

  6. Great post. Love your blog! 🙂

  7. They are not ID thieves; they are in the employ of Santa. Someone has to go to all the malls and get the lists. (Snail mail is really slow to the North Pole.) 😀

  8. Santa isn’t the only one suffering from this horrible injustice. What about all those guys in the green suits with the funny hats? How about the reindeer….and you certainly cant forget Mrs. Claus! Will it never end?!?!

  9. Poor old Santa. Not only is his name an anagram for Satan, but now he has ID theft to contend with too! Thankfully help is at hand for our bearded friend – and for good girls and boys also…

    RFID Protect is a British-based company, and one that offers a full range of RFID anti-ID theft shielding kit, much of which can be custom manufactured to carry a client’s branding. Yep, if Santa wants his anti-skimming credit card, passport holder, or ski-pass sleeve to carry pictures of elves, or Rudolph…then this too can be arranged.

    There’s also an added benefit; this being RFID Protects’ partnership arrangements with law enforcement specialists – evidenced through its work with the Bedfordshire Police Partnership Trust. Both parties are trying to raise awareness about RFID skimming, and strive to help people keep their bio-metric data secure.

    For more information visit:

    Finally, if you’re in any doubt as to whether or not RFID skimming is a real threat, then perhaps watch the following video evidence.

    “Electronic Pickpocket” at

    Good luck Santa, particularly at this busy time of year. And thanks also to ‘Bedtimes Are for Suckers’ for raising awareness about an issue that seems likely to move ‘center-stage’ in the next few months.

  10. I’d sign that petition – Next time I see a random Santa impostor, I’m calling the North Pole-ice!

  11. out of the years of my life i have met more then 10

  12. It is a little disconcerting…my own 8-year-old saw 2 Santas within eyeshot of one another a few weeks ago, and I thought she was going to hyperventilate! 😉

  13. We need Santa control out regulating the streets on a reglar basis… I’m not even sure the real Santa like’s being seen. He obviously avoids us for a reason. What kind of person breaks into houses through a chimney of all things? I’ll tell you… A magical person…

    Don’t stop Howling…
    OhKami’s Voice

  14. Good point and well raised…

  15. Valid point. Santa seems to be endorsing everything these days: from frolicking around in malls to asking you to buy Xmas gifts to warning you not to throw litter around. (yeah I actually saw this environment friendly Santa recently) The Santa tradition is one of the cutest part of Christmas and I too wish it weren’t spoiled.

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed. 🙂

  16. Sounds a lil hilarious, but I get your point! It could be so annoying to have ‘these impostors’ mill around…

  17. You need a spanking and sent to your room young lady — just sayin’


    PS you are adorbale though!

  18. Santa has been hijacked! His Identity Stolen! Even his home! Thousands of them competing to get children to sit on their knee and have their photo taken, at Mum or Dads expence.
    Once upon a time santa came to me and all he wanted was a letter saying that I was a good boy and could I please have a trainset. All he wanted in exchange was a glass of milk and a biscuit to help him on his way. I learnt that Santa was real and he would turn up on Christmas Eve after we had all gone to bed. With all the Santas around today we need quality control and quantity control. Santa needs help, for sure, but not so much as he begins to doubt his own future. Of course I will sign your petition!

  19. Could be worse. I spotted a reindeer trying to get into someone’s chimney the other day!

  20. ouch! 😀 there are imposters all over the world… yes it IS disturbing……

  21. A very sweet and cute blog like the writer itself…. loved the whole look of it.

  22. Thank you for writing this! I use to employ men to dress like me because it is difficult to be in every place at once but this is getting ridiculous!

    I don’t even know why they are doing it because they know the repercussions. Once I found out about fraud, these men get blacklisted to the naughty list.

    Again, thank you for bringing awareness to this important issue.

    PS: Look for something special under the tree this year.
    PPS: I prefer snickerdoodles.

  23. I must confess, I am guilty of stealing his identiy every other year, too…

  24. Nice post! Made me laugh out loud. Here’s a little more holiday cheer for ya:

  25. Dear Lilly I’m a little older than you (but whose counting?). I’m totally with you on this Santa business or Father Christmas as my mum likes to call him, along with a stroller being a push chair. Last night he came tearing down our street on a fire truck/engine (gee I’m confused on the vocab) with wailing sirens and interrupted my evening tooth brushing session. I had to be peeled off the steamed up window with the reassurance that this was not the real Santa just a fire fighter dressed up as Santa as a publicity stunt. Sure enough in the middle of my bedtime story (Jan Brett and the Mitten) he had the audacity to call and ask for a donation.
    The other thing I dont get is all the catalogs that keep piling up under the mail/letter box… what’s all this stuff about stocking fillers? My mom says it is just for adults who dont know how or when to grow up. Santa ignores them quite rightly, it’s like kids who still wear diapers when they shouldn’t.
    My mom also writes a blog and I hate it – she is always tip tapping away saying ‘in a moment’ and then when I repeat myself a couple of hundred times she goes ape sh*t. I fear she is the worst kind of blobber – always banging on about how crap it is to be a mom. She says Anna Quindlen has got it all wrong and is obsessed with yanks wearing hoodies and footies. I had to put a pair on my Santa list just to piss her off.
    BTW, I admired your travel shot. I always take a TJ bag with me too. My little brother puts it on his head and runs off through security. Then my mom then gets told off by TSA and tells them they are welcome to stand in line and control three kids. Yes it’s embarrassing. How do you put yours to good use?
    Stay strong.
    Rosalind or “Rose” to join the band of flower power.

  26. I would sign your petition….Enjoyed that!!! I wrote a post that you may enjoy…….”that wasn’t really Father Christmas mom?”

  27. LoOoL, so funny!

  28. Merry Christmas ! 🙂

    Santa is Coming :)… and here he comes 🙂 … opens his bag 😐 … what is this?????…. “Santa: son, loan @ 0.5 % LESS…” No festival is left to be commercialized…

    Dear Santa you please bring TOYS & Only Toys… no loans … no cosmetics… no apparels… (all at 0.5% less prices) please…

    Congratulation on being FP 🙂

  29. Pingback: Is Santa a Victim of Identity Theft? (via ) Bedtimes Are For Suckers « Normanomicon

  30. And I’m going to sign your petition. I remember when I went to a mall and saw Santa’s in every store. I couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea that he managed to be in so many places at once.
    The funniest thing that happened to me was when I went to one store and saw a plump Santa. Then I went to a store just next to the first one and saw a thin Santa. I remember asking my mom:
    “Mommy, does Santa also give weight reduction advice?”
    She still doesn’t have a reply.

  31. Pingback: Santa and ID Theft «'s Weblog

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  33. I don’t even think Santa is a resident of the united states, I’m pretty sure he’s a resident of the North Pole. Why would the United States… or any other country protect Santa’s identity?

    Anyways.. haha. I don’t agree with you, santa isn’t able to be everywhere at once, so he spreads his magical jolliness to everyone around the world, and then they dress up as him for a day spreading his spirit…. even if it means selling condos at the same time.

  34. This is out of order! I can’t believe it isn’t illegal but then if you think about it, is it really legal? I think you should go on an investigation Lily! x

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  36. So very true. We must put a stop to this.

    (Btw, I just discovered your blog from Babble’s list.)

  37. I too am enraged on this great injustice.And it’s not like these people are gonna actually get you the stuff. I learnt that they practically LIE TO YOUR FACE!!!! So yeah, I wanna sign up to.

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