(UPDATE: I heard my mom tell my dad that a guy named Steve Jobs died. I don’t know who he is… but I get the idea that he has something to do with her favorite companion…and I don’t mean me. )

One thing I’ve noticed about my mom, (and most moms), is they’re always yammering on about how they don’t get enough “quality time” with their kids. They suffer from “mom guilt” a made up aliment where women claim to be burdened with the crushing feeling they’re failing their children.

I call bullshit.

Let’s take just yesterday for example. Mom thought it would be fun for us to hang out at a cafe together. A little mother-daughter bonding. Usually, so she can down her umpteenth cuppa, I can score myself a cookie, or two. Junkies will do anything to get their fix.

Then what happens? She asks me a few questions about what went on at preschool. I start to tell her that Emma punched Jacob in the throat during nap time and out of nowhere she pulls out her phone and proceeds to check her email!! So rude. She LOVES that frickin’ phone of hers. I hear her tell people it’s changed her life. Well, it’s certainly changed my life. Since she got an iPhone, catching her focus is almost impossible. I’d have more luck forcing Emmett, a kid in my class with ADHD, to sit through Eat, Pray, Love.

I swear she looks at the thing about a gazillion times a day. And for what? Does a women in her 40’s really need to see who responded to her Facebook status? Who really gives a shit? Facebook was designed for college students not middle-aged women who waited way too long to have children.

Want to know what’s WAY more important than incessantly checking email or downloading another ‘time-saving” app? The interesting dynamic between Emma and Jacob. Those two can’t keep their hands off of each other.