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New Product FORCES Your Child to Stay Awake!

Celebrities ARE just like us. Or at least they’re just like my freakin’ mom. I’m watching the Ellen DeGeneres show the other day and Modern Family’s Julie Bowen is there yammering about how when her kid falls asleep in the car she tries to keep him awake so he’ll take a nap at home instead. How freaking selfish can these real and fictitious moms get?! Back when I was in preschool my mom used to try the same underhanded crap when I tried to enjoy a nice car nap. In fact, she even went as far to market a product to facilitate her selfish goals. Luckily her business venture failed…just like her pathetic attempt to shed the baby weight five years after the fact.

Check out the commercial that she conned me to appear in by bribing me with candy: