I haven’t written in a while because things around my house have changed. My mom, who got laid off from her job late last year, finally got another gig. Whew. There’s nothing worse than someone with no domestic skills what-so-ever trying their hand at being a stay-at-home mom. My Zhu Zhu Pet hamster could run a house better.
Any-who, having mom back in the work force has made my life increasingly more bearable. Here’s why:
1) The He Said, She Said, Communication Meltdown
Since my mom leaves for work early in the morning and my dad comes home late at night they can never get on the same page when it comes to parenting. A simple, “Daddy, said I could!,” or “Mommy, said I could!” and the world is my chocolate covered oyster.
2) Breakfast for Dinner!
By the time my mom gets out of her job, battles traffic and picks me up from preschool she’s usually too exhausted to whip up one of her “specialties.” Thank to her inability to plan our weekly meals in advance my dinner can sometimes consist of a nice yummy bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. SA-WEET!
3) The Easiest Game of ‘Mother May I?” EVER.
Generally, a request to bust out my paints, Play-Doh, or Moon Sand, is met with a “get ready for bed” —but after a full day of work my mom would let me light the house on fire if she thought it would buy her some time to catch up on her email.
4) Dad’s No Fashion Police
In the morning it’s just dad and me, and unlike my control freak mom, he doesn’t give a rat’s ass if I wear the exact same outfit I wore the day before, pull my clothes directly from the hamper or dress like a mental patient. He’s good like that.
5) Bedtimes are for Mommies
My mom is in charge of the nighttime routine so by the time bedtime rolls around, after an uninspired reading of Pinkalicious she usually conks out in my bed. It sure beats sleeping alone … even if she does snore like a freaking buzz-saw.
March 1, 2011 at 10:07 am
Hahahahaha!!! This was funny. Thanks for the laugh. #4 is definitely my favorite!
March 1, 2011 at 11:01 am
Very Cute !!! I so LOVE #2….Um. Yeah. Same here!
March 1, 2011 at 12:29 pm
Lily – you just described my life in a nutshell. – Eleanor
March 5, 2011 at 9:16 am
I just found your blog and II love this post. I have to say my daughter and you would get along great … I think her favorite would be # 3 🙂
March 7, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Except that I’m not working, it sounds just like what my 6-year-old would write, if I let her near my laptop. She’d also LOVE your fashion sense! Congrats to your mommy on her new job!
March 10, 2011 at 10:03 am
Well, based on your post, one thing mommy did right was raise a funny & witty (albeit mouthy) little girl! Enjoy those Cheerios!
March 15, 2011 at 11:49 am
This is funny. Glad I found you on the funny moms website. I clicked a thumbs up for you!
March 16, 2011 at 4:07 am
You are just hilarious! So glad I found your site from the Circle of Moms Top 25 competition. Have most definitely given you the thumbs up. Look forward to reading all your future posts, and distracting my own feral three with enough bubble wrap for me to kick back and read your previous posts!
March 23, 2011 at 9:18 pm
OMG. I can’t believe that this is my first visit to your blog. HILARIOUS.
August 26, 2011 at 11:31 pm
I have totally subscribed to this. My kids would feel the exact same way!
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