Today was a pretty cool day. I got to leave my kindergarten class with my favorite teacher’s aide and walk to the nurse’s office. Sure, I had a stomach ache and a phlegmy cough but it was awesome to be out of the classroom hanging with the adults because, unlike my classmates, grown-ups never try to fling boogers on you.
Turns out I had a temperature, which means my mom had to leave her job and come get me.
Man, you would’ve thought she was the one who was sick…when she showed up at my school she was a frazzled mess. I don’t know what’s the big flippin’ deal with having to “leave in the middle of an important meeting” to get me. Hell, I meet people all the time…what’s so goddamn important about it? You make some lame small talk and then you’re outta there.
Anyway, now I’m home, in my jammies kicking back watching TV. Sickness, you can’t beat it!
It always happens this way. The second I get a high enough temperature I’m suddenly transported into a world of cozy blankets, food on demand, and the chance to eat a popsicle on the couch enjoying all-you-can-watch TV.
So different from the usual drill! Usually when I get home from school my mom works my fingers to the bone. Either I have to help empty the dishwasher (which means hurling all the spoons in with the knives and all the forks in with the spoons), clean my room (It’s AMAZING how much crap you can cram under one bed!) or do my homework. All so I can maybe watch one measly episode of my favorite show. My mom, ladies and gentleman, the world’s greatest rip-off artist.
But now, thanks to a sore throat and a funky stomach — and a cough which I play up like crazy — I’ve just finished my 600th episode of iCarly and my mom has transformed into a middle-aged lady in waiting. Peel me a grape, mommy.
Oh, sorry… I better wrap this up…my mom just showed up with yet another perk of illness: my favorite cherry-flavored medicine. Heck, if you’re ever in my ‘hood and you’re not feeling well come on over and we can throw back some Children’s Tylenol shots together!
What’s your favorite part of being sick?