Get Your Hands Off My Sh*t!


sharing is caring

This is how I used to share when I was 2. Psych!

First thing you need to know about me: I am not a socialist — except when it comes to health care, social services, infrastructure maintenance, the postal service and police and fire protection. Otherwise, what’s mine is not yours.

But my mom thinks differently. According to Susy-Share-the-Wealth, the moment some kid “asks” I’m supposed to relinquish control of every toy, doll or those cool coffee stirrers I snagged from Starbucks. What a load of horse sh*t.

Don’t get me wrong. Most of the time I’m game to share my crayons or a picture book, as long as I’m the one making the decision. But when my mom tells me I MUST share — that’s when I lose it. Where does she get off? How would she like it if I yanked off her wedding ring and demanded she “share” it with some random woman who just admired it? “But mom, it would make her sooooo happy!”

It’s really just one more manifestation of her classic narcissistic tendencies. I guess it makes HER look bad when I won’t share my toys if the kid’s parent is within earshot. If I refuse to hand over my Hello Kitty figurine (and especially if the kid starts freaking out because I won’t comply)  she believes she’s perceived as not properly teaching me the virtues of equal distribution. Otherwise known as a “PARENTING FAIL.” No wonder she’s so high on it.

“Sharing is caring” my ass.

Author: Lily

4 year old blogger

6 thoughts on “Get Your Hands Off My Sh*t!

  1. Damn socialists! Tell your mommy she also has to share her husband, as well as the ring. Then I’ll bet she turns her little attitude around. Once you put in all the time, money and effort to get a husband trained, it is totally not fair to have someone swoop in and share the benefits of your hard work.

  2. and watch out Lily. news on the block is the term “sharing” has been replaced with “take turns”.
    stay alert!
    keep your eye on the prize!

  3. Coffee stirrers from Starbucks. So funny! I collect those cardboard sleeves. We are a match. And my mom says we don’t have a to share either.
    Let’s play

  4. I hear ya on that one! I used to tell my kids caring is cool but it’s okay to say “no” sometimes too. After all, I do (!) when they ask me for my last chocolate covered almond cluster from Trader Joe’s – back off from the chocolate before I become MEAN MOMMY….:)

  5. Sharing is for suckers. I’m 36 and still don’t share, not even with my kids.

  6. You know when you got this awesome toy, and another kid asks for it, and you say no, and your mom goes, “When I was your age, I used to share all my toys”? Yeah, this is the 21st century lady. When you were 5 lederhosen was probably the in thing.

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