Mommy, Put Down the Goddamn iPhone


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My mom as we enjoy some "quality time" together.

One thing I’ve noticed about my mom, (and most moms), is they’re always yammering on about how they don’t get enough “quality time” with their kids. They suffer from “mom guilt” a made up aliment where women claim to be burdened with the crushing feeling they’re failing their children.

I call bullshit.

Let’s take just yesterday for example. Mom thought it would be fun for us to hang out at a cafe together. A little mother-daughter bonding.  Usually, so she can down her umpteenth cuppa, I can score myself a cookie, or two. Junkies will do anything to get their fix.

Then what happens? She asks me a few questions about what went on at preschool. I start to tell her that Emma punched Jacob in the throat during nap time and out of nowhere she pulls out her phone and proceeds to check her email!! So rude. She LOVES that  frickin’ phone of hers. I hear her tell people it’s changed her life. Well, it’s certainly changed my life. Since she got an iPhone, catching her focus is almost impossible. I’d have more luck forcing Emmett, a kid in my class with ADHD, to sit through Eat, Pray, Love.

I swear she looks at the thing about a gazillion times a day. And for what? Does a women in her 40’s really need to see who responded to her Facebook status? Who really gives a shit? Facebook was designed for college students not middle-aged women who waited way too long to have children.

Want to know what’s WAY more important than incessantly checking email or downloading another ‘time-saving” app? The interesting dynamic between Emma and Jacob. Those two can’t keep their hands off of each other.

Author: Lily

4 year old blogger

6 thoughts on “Mommy, Put Down the Goddamn iPhone

  1. Lily, time to Shakespeare up your stories. Add some blood. Or start with “here’s how you failed me”.. that’ll get her attention.

  2. I’m in complete agreement with you Lily. Since your mom got the iPhone she’s been ignoring me too. Who does she really love?

  3. Forget Facebook-what ticks me off is when my mommy plays sweet games like Pocket Frogs and Tap Zoo and won’t let me play. And is all “stop pressing buttons! You’re going to e-mail someone!”.

    As if I care about e-mailing her boring friends. Heck they’d probably like an e-mail from me-let’s be honest here, probably a lot more fun than e-mails from my mom.

    All I want is to play those games.

  4. Let’s hope your mom finds an app on that phone of hers that will make your beds more comfortable for me when I sleep over.

  5. Pingback: How to Read to Your Kids Without Boring the Sh*t Out Of Them «

  6. Pingback: Making Eye Contact and Being There | This Weblog is Unique. Just Like They All Are.

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